Cain: God told me to run for President

Sources: God told Cain to impregnate as many women as possible

Herman Cain publicly stated yesterday [November 12, 2011] that God told him to run for President of the United States. Millions of Republicans support him, in part based on God's direction.

According to sources in a position to know, God also directed Herman Cain to have sexual relations with as many white women as possible, even without the women's consent, in hopes of impregnating as many of them as possible, thus producing a new God's White Army. The purpose of the new Army would be to protect the one percent who currently control the wealth of the entire earth, against the ninety-nine percent who currently produce that wealth. The ninety-nine percent are becoming increasingly restless and defiant.

Cain last night in a Republican debate broadcast on CBS News, publicly defended torture against non-Christians; he is currently the front runner in his party's race for the nomination to run against President Obama.

Cain is a bookseller and misogynist motivational speaker, last week's anti-Romney. This week's anti-Romeny is misogynist bookseller (eye of) Newt Gingrich, who has had repeated extra-marital affairs with staffers.

Neither Cain nor Gingrich have sent us comments on these issues or this article.