The Simpsons "Amendment Song"
by Alf Clausen and John Schwartzelder

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Krusty: Well, Itchy and Scratchy are gone, but here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun! Sorry about this, kids. But stay tuned. We've got some real good toy commercials coming right up. I swear.

Boy: Say, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?

Amendment-to-be:

I'm not garbage.
I'm an amendment to be.
Yes, an amendment to be.
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me.

There's a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom.
I want to make it legal for policemen to beat 'em.
'Cause there's limits to our liberties.
'Least I hope and pray that there are.
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far.

Boy: But why can't we just make a lawagainst flag burning?

Amendment-to-be: Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we changethe Constitution...

Boy: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws.

Amendment-to-be: Now you're catching on.

Bart: What the hell is this?

Lisa: It's one of those campy seventies throwbacks that appeals to generation x-ers.

Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.

Boy: But what if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

Amendment-to-be:

Then I'll crush all opposition to me
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay.
If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay.

Narrator: Good news, amendment. They ratified you. You're in the U.S. Constitution.

Amendment-to-be: Oh, yeah! Door's open, boys!

Lisa: So it's true. Some cartoons do encourage violence.


If you have trouble hearing the song, click here.
To read political commentary on the flag burning amendment, click here.
To send us your opinion, click here.
To access the ACLU site relevant to this issue, click here.

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This song is one of many from the compact disc called "The Simpsons: songs in the key of springfield. original music from the television series." If you like it, buy the cd wherever fine recordings are sold. It's great. It is most certainly copyrighted, and is presented here for noncommercial fair use purposes only, to get people to think rationally about the proposed flag burning amendment. Please don't sue me.