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Clinton-haters fell 22 votes short of conviction on the perjury charge, and 17 votes short on the obstruction charge, out of 100 Senators voting. Ten Republicans broke ranks and voted conscience above party in what was otherwise a strict party line vote. After a year of press hype and hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars down the toilet, Hypocrite Henry Hyde (HHH) and his band of kamikaze Republican prosecutors were not able to make even one charge stick. Neither charge even mustered a simple majority, much less the two thirds majority required for conviction. Washington insiders are assuming that House Republicans Hyde, Tom Delay, and Bob Barr will try to follow in the footsteps of Newt Gingrich and Bob Livingston by quietly retiring. Like Kenneth Starr, they can expect to receive huge payoffs, enabling them to retire in a fashion only dreamed about by the rest of us. The real culprits in this scandal, however, have a good chance of surviving. The Washington media pundits who have made a living tearing down the President of the United States, and the publishers and broadcasters who enabled them, will probably be forced into a brief period of self-examination. Don't count on them coming up with any good insights, however. |
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No, we are NOT making this up! It seems that Republican Falwell believes one of the cartoon characters is homosexual because he carries a magic bag, and displays a triangle. According to Falwell, the triangle is a secret sign used by homosexuals to infect otherwise decent citizens. Speaking of idiotic attacks on fictional characters, guess who is the front runner in the Republican presidential campaign? You guessed it--Dan Quayle. Taking a cue from Ronald Reagan, Quayle has been memorizing cue cards and rehearsing in front of a mirror. By the time the campaign is in full swing, he hopes to be able to complete one sound bite (about 15 seconds) of conversation without making a mistake. If Quayle is nominated, he will be a formidable candidate indeed, running against Vice President Al Gore. (Please don't throw us in that briar patch! PLEASE!) |